Here’s why you need a ‘to not do’ list

Ever feel like you’re not quite doing any one thing well?

Work, parenting, friendship, partnership, diet, sleep, exercise.

As though, in an attempt to do it all, you’re not really doing any of it?

In order to do any thing, you need to stop trying to do every thing and select some things.

These are you priorities.

Your focus.

Most of us are familiar with them as a ‘to do’ list.

But the problem we create for ourselves is that ‘to do’ lists can be never-ending.

Or never completed.

Which leaves us with the feeling of dissatisfaction.

Which is de-motivating at best.

At worst, overwhelming.

Constantly adding tick-able boxes to a perpetual blank page just reinforces the sense that we aren’t done yet.

We haven’t finished.

We are incomplete.

And always will be.

Having lots of stuff to do creates the illusion of productivity.

Quickly ticking things off our list makes us feel efficient.

But the key to satisfaction is doing what we say we’re going to do.

That is effectiveness.

And it relies on a crucial skill that the ‘to not do’ list makes possible:

deciding what not to do.

Decide. From the Latin, ‘de-caedere’. To cut off.

To decide is literally to slice away alternatives.

Saying no to things is hard.

Especially if we want to think of ourselves as capable.

Ambitious.

Like we can have and do it all.

But that’s why saying no is so important.

Because we can’t have it all.

And we can’t do it all.

Not all the time.

Not without cost.

And letting go is liberating.

With every no, you release yourself from ‘should’, ‘must’ and ‘need to’.

You create space for ‘can’, ‘choose to’ or best of all, ‘want to’.

Your ‘to not do’ list can be big or small.

Daily, weekly or annual.

Pick between 3 things today, this week or this year and do them well.

Put everything else on your not do list.

And a ‘not do’ list isn’t a ‘never do’ list.

In fact, a ‘not do’ list is just strategy by another name.

After all, if everything is important then nothing is.

Saying no to most of the stuff means properly saying yes to what’s left.

That’s why you need a ‘to not do’ list.