Find your voice

Newsletter #12 | December 2023

Helpful, hopeful and true.

This year, I have become a writer.

But you already know that. You are my reader. Without you, I don't write a word.

Because the reason I have become a writer is not to write; but to communicate.

And that takes two.

You see I’ve never been a talker. It’s why, despite starting out as a budding actor, I became a Director. It’s why I love my Coaching work; silence is 90% of the job description. It’s why I interview other Cultural Leaders, despite avoiding those same interviews when I was in their shoes.

But I’ve come to realise that even though I don’t enjoy speaking, I do have things to say. Ideas to share. Questions to ask. Observations to make. Stories to tell.

I have an unmet need to communicate my perspective on the world and to have that communication received. And yes, maybe, just a little bit, if not validated, then valued.

So, having spent two decades reading the words of great writers - playwrights for work, novelists for fun, self-help for, well, self-help - this January, I finally found my voice.

It is the sound of keys tapping to a backdrop of the North Sea. It is 80s movies and 90s football; 00s theatre and 10s parenthood. It is the gesture of an invitation. The fallout of a blessed life turned upside down. The shrapnel of mistakes made; or the blisters of mountains climbed. The love of touching souls. Lessons learned from inspiring clients.

Fundamentally, it is a series of messages, yes to you, but also to myself. Revelations or reminders that reframe my thinking to better navigate this thing we call life.

The rules I set: my voice, these messages, must be helpful, hopeful and true.

I promise you they’re the latter.

Only you can be the judge of whether they’re the former.

12 invitations for 2024

So here we are; 365 days, 312 hours, 127 subscribers, 20,089 words and one found voice later.

In the spirit of being helpful, hopeful and true then, intending to keep you moving from where you are to where you want to be, I offer the following 12 invitations, ideas and inspirations for 2024:

1. Begin with the end in mind.

Beginning with the end in mind means saying no to everything except what is most important to you.

Figuring out what’s most important to you can be a life’s work.

But I reckon it’s worth doing sooner or later; and better to start sooner, rather than later. And later, rather than never.

2. Climb mountains, dont carry them.

Sometimes every day feels like climbing a mountain. Because sometimes every day is like climbing a mountain.

But this is not the first mountain you’ve climbed. Nor will it be the last.

And mountains are there to be climbed; not carried.

3. Hell is not other people.

We fill our lives with other people because, like it or not, we need them.

Loneliness can kill. And the consistent characteristic of the oldest happiest humans is the quality of their relationships with other people.

So embrace collaboration as craft; relatability as a skill to cultivate; and friendship as an art to perfect.

4. Live on purpose.

How easy it is to drift through an unchosen life, in a succession of reactions to events; to never have to decide.

Decide, from the latin ‘de-caedre’, to cut off. Decisions slice away alternatives.

If we get clear then on what is not important to us, we can focus on what is.

fear not that your life has no meaning. But that it won’t end up being what you wanted.

After all, if you don’t design your life, someone else will design it for you.

5. Fail. Then Fail better.

Resistance is a prerequisite for strength; trees with no wind fall down. Missing is necessary for scoring; the biggest scorers in basketball history are also its biggest missers. We must embrace failure as inevitable.

Things are generally worse than we hoped but better than we feared.

When we shoot, we might miss 97.3% of the time; but we miss 100% of the shots we never take.

6. Pay attention.

Life is the accumulated sum of that to which we pay attention.

Our eyeballs are captured, our attention harvested and sold off to the highest advertising budget. We’re diverted by interruptions - or worse; we distract ourselves.

If attention is the only scarcity we have in this world, we must pay it intentionally to the things and people that matter most.

7. Be here now.

Too often, future plans or past regrets, circumstances out of our control or the actions of people over whom we have no influence soak into our present, absorbing our attention and absolving us of responsibility for attending to the moment.

Instead, we can see with fresh eyes, be astonished, stop and look around once in a while at this fast moving life before we miss it altogether.

8. Look backwards to move forwards.

Being reminded of our history can hurt: the sadness of loss, the myriad possible lives not lived, regret, guilt, nostalgia or just the simple fact of a life that passes.

But if we interpret these feelings as messages, decode messages into instructions and translate instructions into actions we can bring the past to bear positive influence on our present.

9. Focus on the horizon.

We’re hard-wired to prioritise foreground motion over background change. Which means thinking long-term is hard.

But focussing on the horizon connects us with what we want to do, not just what we feel we should. How we want to be, not only what we want to have.

The horizon is humbling; a gentle reminder of our tiny place in the world. After all, heights can be surmounted. But we can never reach the horizon.

10. Embrace changeless change.

Great cultural experiences change us not by making us into something different but by making us more of ourselves.

Radical change is not about transformation; it is about discovery. Radical, from root. As in essence. Foundation. Source.

So radical change isn’t a deviation but a return. To who we are. To who we were all along. To who we’ll always be.

11. Make your heart strong.

Life intruding on life is life. The obstacle is the way because it has to be. To love is to suffer.

But I am slowly learning that ‘I can’t cope’ can become ‘I will face today with courage’.

Look at it one way and a heart is there to be broken. But view it from another angle, reframe it, and the heart is a muscle. And if that’s the case, then make it strong.

12. Find your voice.

This year, I finally found my voice.

It is a series of messages, yes to you, but also to myself. Revelations or reminders to reframe my thinking and better navigate this thing we call life.

Next year, if you haven’t already, I hope you find yours.

I can’t wait to hear it.