Live life on purpose
Newsletter #13 | January 2024
A warm place with no memory
In one of my favourite scenes from The Shawshank Redemption, Andy turns to Red and with that soft voice of his, describes where he’s headed once he gets out of prison:
“Zihuatanejo. A little place on the Pacific Ocean. A warm place with no memory. Open up a hotel right on the beach, buy some worthless old boat, fix it up new, take my guests out charter fishing. That’s where I want to live the rest of my life.”
No matter that Andy is serving a life sentence without parole; he has a goal. The pursuit of which - spoiler alert - will ultimately save his friend’s life and set Andy free.
Over the past five years, I too have called upon the power goal-setting to give my work and life intention. Somewhat more modest in my aspirations than prison-break followed by desert-island living, I have nevertheless made bold plans and faced big obstacles.
So at a time of year when many of us are resolving to keep promises to ourselves, pursuing and facing change or simply but mightily weathering the storm, I offer three different approaches that have helped me live life on purpose.
#1: Goal-setting
July 2019.
My last day of 20 years as an Artistic Director. A moment of monumental change. So I buy a book on goal setting.
It tells me to write down 10 short-term goals to achieve in 12 months. I choose:
Lose a stone.
Read 12 non-fiction books and 12 fiction books.
Complete 24 pro bono Coaching hours.
Better support my wife and family.
Complete Samaritans training.
Regain French fluency.
Develop 5 new projects across theatre, TV, Film and podcast.
Organise a party for my mum and dad’s 70th birthdays.
Explore places to move house to.
Enjoy London and Herne Hill before we leave.
And 5 long-term goals to accomplish in 5 years. I go for:
Move house.
Earn £45,000 p/a working 3 days per week.
Make a TV show / Film / Podcast Drama Series.
Launch a Coaching practice.
Get the kids into good secondary schools.
After 18 months, I have achieved just 60% of my short-term goals (1, 2, 3, 4, 9 & 10).
But I achieve 80% of my long-term goals in only 3 years (1, 2, 4 & 5).
What do I learn?
That we over-estimate what we can do in 1 year. But under-estimate what we can accomplish in 5.
#2: Compass-building
January 2022.
We’ve moved from London to live by the sea (long-term goal 1). By now I have a portfolio career in TV, Podcast and Coaching. And I’m spending more time as a husband, dad and frustrated tennis-player. At this point, there are too many possible future paths to set concrete goals. Too much is unknown.
So I design a compass instead of a map. Four priorities I want to keep in balance as I navigate new territory.
The points of my compass:
Set a course (one single point of focus at a time in place of multiple goals).
See with fresh eyes (prioritise appreciating what I have over yearning for what I want).
Pay attention (be present and attend to what I’m doing and who I’m with).
Keep your balance (maintain a new-found harmony between work, life, relationships and health).
What do I learn?
That in the midst of uncertainty, we can find direction by focussing not on what we want to have but on how we want to be.
#3: Navigating by North Star
January 2024.
I now Coach three days a week (long-term goal 4). The other two days are dedicated to my family and to writing things like this in our beach-hut by the sea. I love my work and I have an inspiring client list. I am living and working by design. On purpose and with purpose.
But some things have happened that I was not prepared for. Things that were not in the goals or the compass. That weren’t part of the plan. That are still happening as I write.
So my compass has become the most succinct strategic intent imaginable. A single word that now serves as my North Star:
Persevere.
“Continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no indication of success.”
What am I learning?
Goal setting makes dreams reality by focussing us on the destination. In other words, what we want to happen in the future.
Navigating by compass enables us to locate ourselves and adjust our route on an unpredictable journey. That is, what might happen next.
But occasionally it’s necessary to trust a guiding light, a North Star, an internal way-finder we can’t always see, and just keep going. Simply put, accept what is happening right now.
After all, there is no time but the present.
“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” - Mother Teresa
